Alexithymia: signs, diagnosis and cure (2023)

Alexithymia: Do you have words for your feelings?

Alexithymia is something that can be cured. Trapped under an alexithymic exterior is an unbearably sensitive and empathetic soul. When you take the risk and courageously embark on a journey to regain your sensitivity and emotional intensity, the reserve of vitality is within your grasp.

Being able to feel and express feelings is your birthright. From the moment you come into this world, you feel a variety of emotions in response to life's circumstances. Some of these feelings are pleasant, some are uncomfortable, some are confusing, and some are terrifying. When he has emotionally available and attuned caregivers, he will learn to regulate and grow into an adult capable of tolerating a wide range of emotions. Ideally, even emotions that are often considered "negative" or taboo by our culture and society, such as anger, sadness, and regret, are given healthy channels of expression. Ultimately, only when you are honest with yourself about your feelings can you have strong self-esteem, and only when you have the space to express yourself authentically, can a relationship be sustainably fulfilling.

So what happens when the channel through which you feel and express feelings is blocked? You may end up feeling empty, confused, disconnected, and alone. This is the world in which someone with "alexithymia" lives. Don't be surprised if you've never heard this term before, as even many mental health professionals are unaware of this condition and don't understand the invisible pain it produces.

It may seem paradoxical that someone who isnaturally emotionally sensitive and intenseYou may also be emotionally “blocked”, but the situation is more common than you think. An understanding of the trauma pathway will help us understand the relationship between alexithymia and emotional intensity.

"He who has a smile on his face hides an almost terrifying toughness."
―Greta Garbo

What is alexithymia?

Alexithymia literally means "emotionless for words" in Greek. When you have alexithymia, you have difficulty identifying and describing feelings and must rely on what is known as "outward-oriented thinking" (Nemiah & Sifneos 1970, Taylor et al., 1997), which means that you use external cues to understand the world. instead of following your inner guidance.

What could have happened is that you were unconsciously deprived of your feelings by an early trauma that was too painful to bear. This "trauma" may not be typical "shock trauma" but rather "cumulative developmental trauma" (CDT), also known as early relationship trauma (Isobel et al., 2017) orcomplex trauma.This type of trauma occurs when you are trapped in a situation where your boundaries have been violated repeatedly and cumulatively over a period of time in which you have no way out (Sar, 2011).

It also may not be what your supervisors did, but what you lacked. All children need to be cared for, showing that they are important and that they are cared for. Prolonged neglect in childhood or dealing with emotionally unstable, empty, or cold people can be just as (if not more) traumatic than physical beatings.

As a result of the trauma of their relationship, the emotional world has become terrifying; Instead, they focus on “external facts” that appear to be more tangible, predictable, and reliable (Chung et al., 2016; Kupchik et al., 2007). This was a strategy you chose to feel more secure and gain some sense of control in a precarious world where you were vulnerable. Unfortunately, this is not a sustainable strategy. Unprocessed feelings will inevitably build up in your body, causing physical and neurological symptoms that seem disconnected from their sources (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986; Martino et al., 2019). You may have frequent headaches, fatigue, and panic attacks without knowing why.

"My feelings are too high for words and too shy for the world."
―Dejan Stojanovic

Alexithymia test: what it is like to live in a world without emotions

Alexithymia can make you appear socially awkward to others because you don't automatically appear cheerful. "happy" occasions. Your difference may cause you social anxiety and you may find gatherings unappealing. When unfortunate events occur, you can seem extraordinarily stoic and not receive the sympathy and empathy that others show. However, that doesn't mean you don't feel anything, at least physiologically, you do. You may have physical symptoms or even suicidal thoughts, but the causes of your suffering remain a mystery to you.To check if you have alexithymia, see if you identify with the following:

Some internal signs of alexithymia:

You are not in touch with your feelings. When you try to feel your heart, you feel blocked.

Most of the time you don't get any emotional nuance. You can only know if you feel "good" or "bad", "happy" or "unhappy" and not much else.

They can't just tell what others are thinking or feeling based on their body language and facial expressions.

In interactions, you don't feel connected to other people, it's like there's a wall blocking you.

You feel alienated from your own body; You may have physical symptoms of panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere.

You usually don't feel emotional, but you may suddenly feel overwhelmed with fear or explode with anger.

Although you yearn for intimacy, the prospect of intimate relationships seems daunting. They make you feel out of control and take you too far out of your comfort zone.

You may have lost drive and motivation. They hesitate at work and do not find much pleasure in hobbies. Every day feels like a routine, just getting through the day is hard.

They are not interested in things that have to do with imagination or fantasy, preferring the concrete and practical.

You are confused about your identity and lack self-confidence.

You feel empty and numb as if you are just an observer of your own life. You know you are missing out on life, but you don't know how to live any other way.

External signs of alexithymia

They have a blank expression and do not smile or frown when it is "socially appropriate".

You can't find words when you try to express feelings. When someone asks "How are you?" you respond with general terms like "fine" or "fine." If someone specifically asks you how you feel, fill in the blank.

You seem cold and insensitive. Others may see you as arrogant or aloof.

Others may think you don't have a sense of humor.

You use nervous laughter to fill in the blanks because you're uncomfortable with silence.

As you struggle to express your needs and desires, others cannot understand what you want and become frustrated.

When you speak, go into endless descriptive details without personal feelings. Your speech can be monotonous, dry, and hard to follow.

It is important to note that having alexithymia does not mean that you are apathetic. You may still feel things deep down, but find it difficult to connect with your feelings or express them to others.

While not inherently dangerous, alexithymia can lead to a variety of relationship and interpersonal problems. He feels left out at school and at work. In relationships and marriages, you are misconstrued as aloof and aloof. The people you love cannot feel your affection. They may also suffer from a lack of sexual desire. Unfortunately, the inability to express affection also means that you are more likely to end up in a broken relationship. Being left out and misunderstood on all fronts can make for a very lonely existence.

On the surface, alexithymia may seem like a "convenient" strategy for coping with life. They may be able to temporarily "erase" painful feelings, but throughWhen you clear the lows, you also leave the highs behind.Without emotion, you won't be able to build positive memories with loved ones, feel energized by passion, or connect intimately with someone. You remain a clinical observer of your life, watching it go by without enjoying it.

"Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise."
―Aaron Ben Zeev

Alexithymie as Diagnose

Alexithymia is not recognized as a separate mental disorder. It was first added to the Lexicon of Psychiatry in 1976 by Peter E. Sifneos, a psychiatrist and professor emeritus of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. To date, information on the underlying causes and recommended therapies is lacking.

Complicating matters further is alexithym's inability to "tell their stories." He can act (through anger, self-harm, and even a suicide attempt) without being able to offer an explanation for his actions. In the absence of a firsthand account of what happened, diagnosis becomes difficult.

Certain sociodemographic factors put a person at higher risk of developing alexithymia. Although about 13% of the population suffers from alexithymia, the prevalence in men is almost double that in women.

Alexithymia can occur on two levels: as a primary trait or as a secondary condition. Primary alexithymia implies that the individual is born with a genetic defect that affects the ability to feel and express emotions and empathize. It is also associated with brain damage, particularly to the anterior insula (responsible for visceral sensory and motor responses and somatic sensory responses, particularly to the face, tongue, and upper extremities). This neurological defect may be a congenital condition or the result of an injury that occurs later in life.

However, much of the available research focuses on secondary alexithymia, which is often a reaction to traumatic life events in childhood or adulthood.

Alexithymia can be perpetuated by the presence of a variety of other conditions, such as:

· TOC

· Binge eating disorder

· Schizophrenia

· Substance abuse

Child neglect and emotional abuse

Life changing diseases

· Autism

· Depressions

Alexithymia and autism

A stereotypical understanding of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is that it involves a lack of empathy, a theory that has been largely discredited. The fact that an alexithymic person does not recognize intense feelings (such as confusion or danger) in others and their lack of emotional expression means that alexithymia is often misinterpreted as autism.

Although people on the autism spectrum can also exhibit traits of alexithymia,Research on the correlation between the two conditions is inconclusive.. The existing consensus seems to be that alexithymia is common in autism and is not caused by autism. (Here it goeshigh functioning autism)

alexithymia and depression

People with major depressive disorders and postpartum disorders are more likely to have alexithymia. A person with alexithymia is twice as likely to suffer from depression. But at the same time, research shows that the symptoms of alexithymia decrease with the decrease in the symptoms of depression. Therefore, it is not possible to affirm whether alexithymia is a cause or a consequence of depression.

alexithymia is a trauma

People with PTSD are more likely to develop alexithymia. This was the result of a study of Vietnam veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder.41% of them were alexithymic.A similar survey of Holocaust survivors found that those with PTSD did well. significantly higher when alexithymia was assessed than those without PTSD.

Alexithymia and neurological diseases

Patients with neurological diseases and conditions.such as traumatic brain injury, stroke, dystonia, Huntington's disease, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, and epilepsy are more likely to have alexithymia.

Alexithymia and emotional abuse and neglect in early childhood

Alexithymia is likely caused by a combination of biology and the environment. In other words, some may be born more prone to alexithymia than others and then experience traumatic events or wounds in the relationship that serve as ultimate triggers.

Developmentally, alexithymia is the result of arrested emotional development in childhood. Can be yoursThe parents were depressed, cold and distant., and wereunable to reflect on or adjust to his feelings.Or they themselves may be afraid of emotions, so they punish you for expressing them. They may lack emotional language and therefore have it I never taught you what it means to be emotionally literate.

If they repeated you as a sensitive and intense childBelittled, blamed or scapegoated for your natural language, alexithymia would be a natural result. Maybe you never felt safe to express yourself. The message he received was that he risks being rejected, abandoned, or punished if he ever expresses something that is "uncomfortable" to adults, such as B. disappointment or anger. In some homes even joy and enthusiasm were discouraged. With its intensity, your natural exuberance can be seen as "too much" and therefore muted.

For a time it was thought thatPhysical neglect was the only child maltreatment clearly associated with alexithymia.. However, other research has shown that a history of abuse is also associated with alexithymia (Berenbaum, 1996; Joukamaa, et al., 2008). That makes sense: Imagine getting punished every time you express your feelings. Eventually, he will learn to stop crying or talking just to keep himself safe.

Various questionnaires are used to help patients and therapists identify alexithymia. The best known of these is the Toronto Alexithymia Scale 20 (TAS-20, Bagby, Parker & Taylor, 1994), which assesses alexithymia in adults. There is also a version that can be given to children. Depending on the initial evaluation, an MRI may be suggested to assess for damage to the brain islet.

"You can own what you do, but never what you feel."
―Gustave Flaubert

get out of alexithymia

The treatment approach for alexithymia itself may differ from typical therapeutic approaches, as we are working with someone who cannot even identify or label their feelings. Research shows, for example, that a psychoanalysis in which the therapist"blank canvases"could be too confrontational or threatening and not well matched (Lesser, 1981; Sifneos, 1975; Taylor, 1984). However, because alexithymia often coexists with other mental disorders, treatment of these disorders can help reduce alexithymia.

As mentioned above, alexithymia doesn't mean you don't feel or are cold and don't need a human connection. It does not mean that you are a bad person or that you never like others. All it represents is a blockage in your emotional channel associated with a form of "emotional illiteracy'. So one of the most important milestones on your journey toward healing is finding a language for her feelings. This is called “emotional competence building”. A tool that can be useful in this process is the “emotional roll'. Developed by psychologist Robert Plutchik, this useful tool allows you to learn about emotions of varying degrees of complexity and nuance. Through training, you can slowly build a set of vocabulary and link it to your internal states. There are many online resources on the Emotional Wheel, such as:This one.

There are other tools that you can use to connect with your inner world. For example, researchers have found that expressive writing can help you develop inner awareness and put your feelings into words, especially if you practice it every day. Reading novels that contain personal narratives will help you get out of the rut of monotonous narratives.expressive art therapiesasMake art, dance and music can be great ways to express yourself non-verbally.

When it comes to alexithymia, in my experience, the greatest healing happens in relationships. Since the original wound likely occurred in a relational context, it must also be healed in a relational way. It could be a relationship with an enlightened friend or a therapist/coach. Ideally, your therapist or coach creates an environment in which you, both you as an adult and your inner child, truly feel safe enough to feel and express emotions. Where words fail, they can gently guide you, providing vocabulary or modeling authentic expressions of your own emotions. A level of self-disclosure on your part that shows they are feeling things too can help you feel more confident and empowered to do the same. Whenever appropriate, they will encourage him to name his feelings, although that doesn't mean forcing him to do things he can't do.

An important point in this process is when you need to feel or express feelings that are difficult for your therapist/coach to receive. If you have been disconnected in the past, feelings like anger or disappointment towards another person can be very difficult for you. It is critical that the therapist/coach not punish you for expressing these "negative" feelings because of your own fears or vulnerabilities. When they do, they are simply repeating what your first maintainers did to you. Therefore, it is important that you hire someone who has worked on themselves, is genuinely emotionally mature, and does not hide behind a "professional facade." It can be life-changing for you, perhaps for the first time in your life, to experience a genuine, trusting and long-lasting relationship where all forms of expression are allowed. The experience you have with a professional can then be generalized and applied to other aspects of your life, such as: B. Your friendships or an intimate relationship.

Alexithymia is not something that cannot be changed. This may be counterintuitive, but what is most likely trapped beneath an alexithymic exterior is an unbearably sensitive and empathetic soul. Shutting down emotionally was never a conscious choice; It was what they urged you to do to survive painful situations.

When you take the risk and courageously embark on a journey to regain your sensitivity and emotional intensity, the reserve of vitality is within your grasp.

"What happens when people open their hearts?"
"You're getting better."
―Haruki Murakami,norway wood